God will humble you if you don’t learn to take heed to His warnings. I know this all too well!
I spent most of my life trying to please people, changing parts of me that they didn’t like so I could be likable. Honey, that didn’t even work because through all of that, they still didn’t like me. I felt the sting of rejection on so many occasions that I was just scared to try things because I feared it will happen again. My heart became very envious, jealous of others, I coveted what people had, unforgiveness settled in, was very deceptive, angry, bitter, tried to be perfect in everything I did so people wouldn’t focus on my bad issues, had a victim mentality, depressed and filled with anxiety, was proud of being smart so I became arrogant in what I knew and self-righteousness settled in. I was just headed for destruction and I was too stubborn to look at the junk in my heart. I had the “talk”, but my “walk” was crooked a lot of times.
You can’t try to display a positive and kind demeanor and think that the unchecked sin festering in your heart won’t begin to seep out.
It wasn’t until my little “white lies” caught up to me and I felt the sting of humiliation and mocking from others that made me realize I’ve gone too far. It took some months to still began to see my errors. I had to be humbled and although it hurt so much, it was well needed. I made a conscientious decision to repent and talk to God about my heart and mind issues. I work on this everyday. I started to invest in myself because I want to be healthy and live right for God. I make Him my first priority when I wake up because I am better equipped for the day. I want what He wants for my life and this is not a time to turn away from Him, but to continually seek Him in every moment.
I speak of this because there is someone who may have some unchecked sin in their lives. Please TAKE HEED: Repent and turn away from your sins! Return back to The Most High God! He is waiting with open arms. My hope is that as I share the mess I went through that it can be a message of warning to others to turn from destructive paths so you won’t have to suffer like I did. Be encouraged even if God strips you of everything. It’s only to cleanse you of things that do not glorify Him. Until next time, pray for me and I’ll pray for you.
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you.”
Psalm 51:10-13 NIV