The Discomposed Spoonie

I know you’re probably wondering what the word “spoonie” means. In short, it’s when a person with a chronic illness deals with the pain and fatigue of their body, preventing them to fully function so they can properly perform their daily routines; as opposed to someone who can.

I will be honest, I am NOT a happy camper about being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I was in denial the first few months. I didn’t like the first medical treatment plan, tried to attempt suicide twice, was scared to take the second medical treatment plan until two months after seeing a rheumatologist. My behavior was very erratic and my emotions were out of order because I didn’t want to believe this “tragedy” was happening to me. Although my condition is in its mild stage, which means I have very little to no pain or deformities, there’s no guarantee that it will remain this way. I’ve learned to get out of my feelings and have since began to be compliant to the medical treatment plan, but it seems to be a thorn in my side.

To take it back a bit, this diagnosis came around the time I was out of alignment with God. I’ve prayed to be healed of this condition, but it’s still here. I’ve brought the issues of my heart to Him, but it’s still here. Well maybe this condition was His way of getting my attention to turn myself around to look to Him. I say this because I was definitely on the wrong route, headed straight for destruction. Sometimes a bad situation is God warning us to turn back to Him. I can say that my eyes are definitely open right now! Although I don’t like when the pain, swelling, and flares ravage my body, I’ve learned not to have pity parties because there are others who have it worse than me.

I speak of this because there may be someone who’s been diagnosed with a devastating health condition and you’re at your wits end on coping with it. I promise you that PRAYER does change your perspective to your circumstances. Tell God how you feel and ask for ways to help you cope with your situation. Give Him the issues of your heart so He can heal you completely. We don’t want to hear it, but a lot of our problems stem from the unrepentant sins in our hearts. Connect with people who have a similar situation whether it’s through social media groups or your local hospital. You encourage them and who knows, they can inspire you to keep living even if it’s not the way it was before. Until next time, pray for me and I’ll pray for you.

Wherefore comfort one another with these words.
1 Thessalonians 4:18 KJV

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